catherineportersings

Originally published www.simplywoman.com June 4, 2018 the power of the “no” vladimir and the cauliflower garden: a cancer story. your weekly horoscope by the astro twins june 2018 sun sign horoscopes by maya white what helps me cope with difficult emotions is this a reason not to love them? Home    >     Feature    >     Vladimir and the Cauliflower Garden: A cancer story. vladimir and the cauliflower garden: a cancer story. - simply woman By  simply...woman!  on June 4, 2018 By Catherine Porter Introducing Vladimir! Vlad is my bladder and right now, of all of my internal organs, this handsome devil is the star, the name on the marquees, the one with the spotlight on him, though perhaps for all the wrong reasons. Lately, Vlad has not quite been getting his job right, not for lack of trying. I equate him to a well intentioned organic farmer, who tried to be mindful of the environment, but somehow mistakenly sprinkled “Roun

Originally published on December 14, 2017 on The Elephant Journal: I ain’t Kidneying Around: A Cancer Story. Meet Kiki. She’s my left kidney. On September 11th, 2017, Kiki made her exit from my body. I sent her on an all-expenses-paid lifetime vacation to anywhere but inside me. It wasn’t her fault, but she had to go. She functioned perfectly. She was a super trooper, doing her filtering job with nary a complaint. I appreciate all she did and I told her so. “Thank you, Kiki. You’ve been an exemplary kidney. I love you.” Kiki’s problem was she had a little beast stuck on her. It was called “non-invasive papillary urothelial carcinoma.” That’s short for  cancer. If cancer hasn’t touched you or someone you know and love, you are not breathing. If you  have  lived challenge-free in your life, I applaud you for being from another planet. We all have stuff, we all face mountains, right? No one gets off scott-free in the getting-the-sh*t-kicked-out-of-you department. I hav

A few months ago, my 12 year old daughter decided to turn her love of SLIME into a business. Yes, I said SLIME.  She wanted to use her obsession and expertise in the world of GOO to open a shop on the homemade and crafty site,  ETSY. Yes, apparently, slime is a THING, and a popular one at that. This thing has been all over her room, her clothes, her rug, her desk, my hair, the dog's, and everywhere else. To be honest, I was nearly ready to ban it for good when my girl goes ahead and impresses me with this entrepreneurial idea for her passion. What Mother could say "no" to that? Always up for a teachable experience, I agreed. And, with that, HONEYDUKES SLIME SHOP was born. Not just slime, but Harry Potter themed slime! What could be more fun than that? https://www.etsy.com/shop/HoneydukesSlimeShop While I was proud of her for creating a business, I became slimed-out very quickly, exhausted by the endless need for supplies, the constant making of it and

Meet Dexter; my hero, my BFF, the champ, my right rockstar kidney.  This dude stepped up to bat the minute Kiki, my dearly departed left kidney (see previous blog entry), exited the building en route for sunnier climes, and has been purring like a kitten ever since. He was clearly born to do this, showing up like Mighty Mouse to save the day. He saved me. Kiki is gone, Ladies and Germs, but she’s definitely not forgotten.  She took every ounce of my pit of pain, we added all of your woes to her suitcases, and off she went. Thanks for helping me fill her bags. I meditated on each fear, anxiety and despair you threw at us and put it all in Kiki’s Louis  Vuittons  in your name. I hope you felt the darkness ease a little. I hope you felt some peace. I know I did. Do you want the gory details? At 9:15AM on September 11th, 2017, I quite buoyantly strode into the operating room at Sloane Kettering Memorial Hospital.  I wasn’t exactly thrilled with what was about to happen, but

I want you to meet Kiki. She is my left kidney. Tomorrow, on September 11th, Kiki is going to make her exit from my body. I'm sending her on a all expenses paid lifetime vacation to anywhere but inside me. It's not her fault, but she has to go. She functions perfectly. She's been a super trooper for quite a few years, doing her filtering job with nary a complaint. I appreciate all she has done and I tell her every day. Thank you, Kiki. You've been an exemplary kidney. I love you. Kiki's problem is she has a little beast that is stuck on her. It's called "non invasive Papillary urothelial carcinoma." That's short for CANCER. If cancer hasn't touched you or someone you know and love, you are not breathing. If you have lived challenge-free in your life, I applaud you for being from another planet. This seems to be our real life; the norm. We all have STUFF, we all face mountains, right?  No one is scott-free here in the getting-the-s